Eight Quick Hits or I Love Lists

1. Work is kicking my ass. We have a big presentation with one of our main funders next week for renewal funding and a proposal deadline Friday (I like to be an overachieving, overprepared girl so the fact that I'm not already prepped or done with both of these things stresses me out. Trying to learn that not being an overachiever is okay. Breathing.) Also, on the conference front (yes, I'm working two jobs right now!), things are going well, but also hectic; got a zillion emails coming in and going out. But I think it's all under control. End of February is my big deadline---most of the heavy lifting for the conference program will be nearly done by then.

2. Reading Where a Nickel Costs a Dime by Willie Perdomo as part of my poetry-collection-a-month activity. Been peeking at Asha Bandele's Absence in the Palms of My Hands, which I've read before, but not in its entirety. Also half-way through Saul Williams ...Said the Shotgun to the Head. Still have Nin, Hemingway (pretty boring, if you asked me) and Chandler on my reading list. Feeling a big scattered reading-wise lately, but that's cool.

3. Feeling pretty much better now although my tinnitus is acting up now and then. It hasn't acted up like this in at least six months, so it's a bit strange.

4. Went to kali women's class last night for the first time--come to think of it, that was the first kali I'd done in about six months. Not feeling sore, although I expect to have a couple small bruises thanks to Tuhan's pressure points demonstrations.

5. Been listening a bit to the furor over the Alito nomination to the Supreme Court. Have to admit I'm a bit desensitized by these constant offensives by the Right. Got to pick my battles, although I'm sure I signed a petition or sent an email to Feinstein on this one, at least. This is a huge nomination, one that will affect interpretation of law, women's rights, how racial discrimination (or anything having to do with race) and sexual harassment cases are dealt with in this country. Frightening.

6. Related to 5: An interesting column by Mark Morford in the Chronicle connecting the Alito nomination to my current favorite flick, Brokeback Mountain. I like the Buddhist-influenced rhetoric near the end of the piece.

7. Taking a break from the novel to get some fresh perspective on it before I dive back in for serious revisions. Just signed up for novel writing class that starts in March. Need more structure and supports for the long stretch of rewrites ahead.

8. Last but definitely not least: the World Social Forum wrapped up in Venezuela, with President Hugo Chavez (my favorite politician of the moment, with Evo Morales a distant second (just 'cuz I don't know a lot about him) calling for the world to 'transcend capitalism'. Can you see why I love this guy?

Because It's Fun and...

...also becuase I'm trying to come down from a particularly energizing evening. Thanks to Efren for the idea.

Four jobs you've had in your life:
-Development Director of a social justice nonprofit
-Executive Director of a youth consortium
-Bead store salesperson
-Cutco knife salesperson

Four movies you could watch over and over:
-Lackawanna Blues
-Brokeback Mountain
-The Empire Strikes Back
-The Godfather, Parts I & II

Four places you've lived:
-Alameda, CA
-Oakland
-Berkeley
-San Francisco

Four TV shows you love to watch:
-America's Next Top Model (my favorite, although this last cycle was a BIG disapppointment at the end)
-The Sopranos
-Will & Grace
-Any Lidia Bastianich cooking show

Four places you've been on vacation:
-Hawaii
-Joshua Tree
-Camping in the redwood forests up north
-LA
(Wow, I haven't been on vacation much. Most of my travel has been work-related. Kinda sad.)

Four websites you visit daily:
-sfgate.com
-google
-my blog
-my email (I don't like reading stuff online!)

Four of your favorite foods:
-Fried chicken
-Well-made Italian pasta dishes
-Sheep's or goat's milk cheeses (with a nicely paired wine)
-Tomatoes in many variations (but not ketchup!)

Four places you'd rather be:
-Sunbathing with my honey on a beach in Hawaii or the Philippines
-Getting a mudbath with one of my girls in Calistoga
-Hiking with a good friend on Mount Tamalpais
-Writing my novel in a secluded retreat house

Four albums you can't live without:
-La India/Llego La India
-Stevie Wonder/Songs in the Key of Life
-Donny Hathaway/These Songs for You
-Los Van Van/Greatest Hits

Four magazines you read:
-Yoga Journal
-Marie Claire
-Harper's (sometimes)
-Poets & Writers

Three cars you've owned:
-only one: a 1983 Subaru GLF. And I don't think it was even in my name, but my parents'!

And It's Just the Beginning...

This is already 'old' news by Hollywood standards, but what can I say, I don't live for watching awards shows or 'Entertainment Tonight', ok?

Brokeback Mountain won Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Screenplay at the Golden Globes. I think I'm most happy about Ang Lee winning for Best Director. I feel a peculiar satisfaction knowing that an Asian man made that film.

The Oscars are just a couple months away. I can't wait!

Recovering: A Balancing Act

Trying to get better from my sudden flu, but trying to get some work done. Some good news, I finished the second draft of my sci-fi novel, which is very exciting! It's still far from done, but I'm one step closer to being finished. It feels great. I thought I wouldn't finish until the end of this month, but when I was working on it yesterday morning I realized that all the scenes I thought were unfinished had a beginning, middle and end--finished enough for now! Now I've got to really pull it together tight and work on polishing it to a shine.

Work is so crazy lately, I've started to think about late at night in bed and when I wake up first thing in the morning. Bleck. This is what it felt like when I was an Executive Director a couple years ago. At least now, I'm 'only' a Development Director, and of a much healthier, supportive organization. I think my meditation cushion and I need to spend some quality time together...

Wobbling but still standing--
Rona

Home/sick

Well, leave it to my high-fat and high-cholesterol diet of the last few days to put me where I've probably needed to be for the last few weeks: home/sick. I've been longing to have the time to just stay home, avoid the cold weather outside, and chill, and illness is always one way to do that.

I'm bummed though, that this means I won't see my good friend A. until Saturday, and that I won't be able to take my (nearly weekly) trip to H&M with H. and M. (really! those are my friends' initials!), but it's all good. I've been driving my body to its outer limits these last few weeks since New Year's Day, working intensely and at a hectic pace--although I did make my big grant deadline on Jan. 9th, which was pretty amazing, considering we only started working on that proposal less than a week before winter break.

Being home/sick, though, gives me a chance to catch up on a bit of blog-reading, novel-writing, and other bedridden activities. I'm reading parts of The Diary of Anais Nin (Vol. II), as well as Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises, both partially in preparation for my first-ever visit to Europe (including a stay in Paris, which I'm very excited about) that's coming up soon.

And, of course, there is rest. I will be a good girl and get some. Promise.

Small, small world: Another Buddhist Pin@y

Been meaning to post this for a while, but my previous post on Buddhism in the Philippines and a quick visit to Jean's Wild Radish blog finally prompted me. Funny, iSang also met someone I know from the community, Maiana Minahal, at a Deer Park retreat. I was supposed to be at that retreat, but changed my mind at the last minute. Hope to go next year if they do it again. It's Thich Nhat Hanh's Colors of Compassion retreat.

Buddhism in the Philippines

This is great. Wikipedia is great. Thanks Jean, via her new Wild Radish blog for the ref.

I've been studying Buddhism off and on, and trying to practice it off and on, for the past two-and-a-half years. It has brought me more peace, equanimity and joy than many, many (don't ask how many!) years of Roman Catholic church-going and endless prayers to saints, etc. have. Not that I diss the saints or even the Virgin Mary or Jesus. They are all on my altar or on the walls of my house (Mary Magdalen is one of my favorites, and if you've never read the gospel that is attributed to her--yes! a gospel attributed to a woman!--do pick it up). It's the church that is so often lacking in real spiritual depth, in accessibility and responsive to the people it is trying to serve, that always left me feeling dissatifisfied, a little lost, and very pessimistic about the possibility of happiness within this lifetime.

Buddhism has taught me that peace and happiness are within us, all the time, and that our minds and the conditions that we have created in our own lives and habits keep us from experiencing that innate happiness. I've discovered pure bliss just sitting in meditation for thirty minutes! How cool is that? Now, if only I could get to enlightenment....

So I'm glad that Jean found this info about Buddhism in the Philippines, a predominantly Roman Catholic and otherwise Christian nation. Gives me hope that when I finally do visit the homeland, I might be able to find some refuge in a sangha where everyone looks like me. Ah, now that would be nice.

Fun as a Necessity

I had a blast last night hamming it up on stage, running away like a cowardly superhero from Caroline/Point Blank's Kali stick (she does wield a mean stick and it'd been a while since I did an unchoreographed martial arts demo), reassuring Dennis/Allegorical about his poetic talent. The Chatelaine graced us with her presence and we all witness Rhett/Tatang's great acting debut as Blockhead, who wields a writer's-block inducing gun in a diabolical attempt to stop creativity from flowing. Thanks Michele/Gura/The Muse (fo' real!) for the opportunity to have some fun on stage.

When M. asked me to be in her short, 10-minute play for last night's SPT Poets Theater, I was a little hesitant. The first quarter of this year is just HECTIC for me--work at CFJ, work on this, my writing, and just trying to stay healthy and sane and balanced--and I was reluctant to take on another (albeit quite temporary) commitment. But I've been thinking about acting as another possible mode of creative expression for myself, and said 'yes'.

I knew this would be a low-pressure gig, barely any rehearsal and I wouldn't have to memorize my lines (although I did anyway, what can I say, I'm a perfectionist Capricorn), which would mean I could just have fun with it. And having good, clean fun, I've realized the hard way, is just as important as rest or a healthy diet or getting exercise. It made me feel damn good, alive in a way that my work and my writing (as much as I love them both and am driven to do them both well) just can't.

After the play, we all went to dinner at Eliza's for Rhett's and his brother's birthdays. Yummy, well-presented Hunan and Mandarin food, including ostrich with mango, sunflower seed chicken, thick, saucy chow mein, and the best peking duck I've had in years. I'm hoping that R. will post the pics we took of the food so I can relive the experience.

Good Clean Fun

What fun tech rehearsal was tonite for 'The Laureate', Michelle Bautista's (aka Gura's) short play that will be performed tomorrow night at this. Here's a quick preview pic. Come through if you can and see how fun defending poetic innovation can be.

(Just in case you can't tell, the 'masked', toygun-toting 'superhero' in the middle is me as 'The Laureate'.)

Pointing Out the Obvious

Is something I try to avoid doing, but it felt weird not to somehow acknowledge the fact that I'd changed my blog template. With all the rain and storming happening in these parts lately, I needed some light. Artificial or no, I'll take it.

And maybe something not-so-obvious: I've added an 'Upcoming and Recent Sightings' section to my sidebar with info about where to find my words or performances. This Friday, I have the pleasure of performing in Small Press Traffic's Poets Theater Jamboree with Rhett Pascual, fellow Kalista Caroline King, and poet Dennis Somera in Michelle Bautista's play, "The Laureate", appearing as the title character (as in 'poet laureate', get it?), which is ironic given my recent post about shying away from any appropriation of the term 'poet' to describe myself.

Is the universe trying to tell me something in offering me this role? Is there a reason why poetry has been appealing to me more lately, why I find myself drawn to verse (although I doubt I'd ever abandon prose)? Maybe. But I'm just gonna have fun with the role and try to put on a good crowd-pleasing show.

Productive Procrastination

I'm sitting in a cafe, letting myself be distracted by free wifi and my blog when I should be working on my novel. I'll get back to it in a minute, but thought I'd satisfy my blog-itch by posting my honey's soon-to-be-finished portfolio site, Frequency Shift. I know I'm biased, but his work has garnered much positive attention and feedback from others who are less so. Check it. And feel free throw some work his way if you've got some, although I think he's booked up for the month of January.

Now back to the wilds of the (fictional) Brune pass...
Rona

Best Review of 'Brokeback' I've Read

Since I'm too busy to post my own stellar review, here's Jim Emerson's, via Roger Ebert's site.

I totally agree with Emerson's critique of 'provincial' big-city 'sophisticates' who are accusing the film of being 'closeted.' It is so clear if you watch this film that Ang Lee was not out to make a political statement. But by not focusing on the political statement, he made such a political powerful film about gayness and homophobia and our society's violent repression of gay love that even the right wing doesn't know what to do with it. The Catholic Church even initially gave 'Brokeback' only its 2nd-highest 'offensive' rating, only to be forced to switch to the highest offensive rating after zealouts complained.

This film is political art of the highest degree by virtue of the fact that it wasn't trying to be political. This is the tension I struggle with in my own writing and living. How to balance the need for real change in our world, policy change, political change, with the need for real stories, honesty, beauty, art?

So Much for New Year Blog Theme

Sorry, folks, for making a big to-do about a new blog theme and then posting nothing for days. Work's taken over my life these days. Big deadline on Monday, then three more in rapid succession to follow right after that. Through it all, trying to 'touch' my novel everyday, hoping to have the next draft finished by the end of the month. (!) Very exciting. But then will have a lot of work on my hands, combing through the big, messy, tangled threads of the thing, this massive literary undertaking that I've claimed as my writerly work for the next year at the very least.

Poetry's been coming to, through, me lately too, which is always strange. Even when most of what I was writing was poetry--back in my college and immediate-post-college days--I never really considered myself a poet. That word seemed to be reserved for people far more driven by the word than I, and far more self-centered. Sorry to all the poets out there, but gotta keep it real! I'm probably just jealous, right? There may be some truth to that. I'll keep it real, like dat, yo.

So maybe sometime after next Monday I'll find some time and energy to write about Brokeback Mountain, which has been in my mind on a daily since I saw it a couple weeks ago. Also read the short story--bought the paperback, but the hardcover copy costs $14.95! for a frickin' short story! I liked the movie better, more detail and emotion. The story seemed to skate over some of the more charged scenes and subplots as if afraid to delve too deeply. It would have been interesting to read this story as a novel. I think it could have taken over that large of a literary space.

Okay, enough rambling for now. I'm going to treat myself to a quiet evening of reading. Just started reading Hemingway for the first time--can you believe it? Recently finished Dream Jungle by Jessica Hagedorn as well as Voodoo Dreams by Jewell Parker Rhodes. (Yes, dreams are a theme in my novel). I've been making my list of books to read in 2006, and of course there are too many and I don't think I'll be able to finish it, but who cares? I've also committed to reading one poetry collection a month, which will be a first for me.

Also saw Walk the Line last night. It was decent. Hopefully I'll blog more about it later, especially in comparison to Ray.

Wish me luck meeting all my deadlines--
Rona

New Year, New Blog Theme

Or just a theme, since I never really had one before, for my blog. Been feeling the need to give my blog more focus, so that it's not so random (although I do like the randomness of it sometimes, I wonder if you, dear reader, do?). Looking back on the past year and a half or so of my blog, I think some of my best entries intertwined my reflection on two of my favorite topics: art and politics. So that's what my blog will focus on from now on (at least until I get bored): art & politics, the intersections thereof, and what we can learn from particularly stellar examples of political art or artistic politics (hm, that doesn't quite sound right, does it? Politics can be creative, though, I swear!). And while I maintain that art and politics have very distinct functions in our lives and our world and don't believe in social realist propaganda as 'art', I also think that art can have a political function whether its creator(s) intend it to or not, and that function can range from sparking interesting cafe conversations between strangers to launching whole new social movements that transform society on many levels (can anyone say hip hop?).

My first example is THE BEST MOVIE of the year. I'm going to blog about this more later, but if you haven't gone already, you NEED to go see Brokeback Mountain, the so-called 'gay cowboy' movie directed by Ang Lee and starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall. It's a gorgeous, haunting, sensual film, folks, so bring some hankies and a non-homophobic person to accompany you.

Happy new year!

Folks to Remember During the Holidays

I'm always struck by the number of homeless people I see having to live on the streets in the winter because our cities don't have enough beds for them to sleep in in shelters and such. It's bad enough that in a society as affluent as ours that people don't have shelter at other times of the year, but during winter homelessness is especially tragic. Every year, San Francisco does a grisly count of the number of deaths of homeless people in the city, which often is more than 150. To put names and faces to this story, check out this article about 'sacred sleep' at St. Boniface Church in the Tenderloin in SF.

This has been an especially cold winter, so please don't forget to give gifts--dollar bills or spare change, your leftover food (leave it on a garbage can and people will eat it), clothing, food and monetary donations, or even a gift of your time volunteering at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter--to the people who need them the most this holiday season. Here are a few places where you can give:

-The Coalition on Homelessness, a tireless voice for the homeless and publisher of the groundbreaking 'Street Sheet' newspaper which is sold by homeless vendors.

-The East Oakland Community Project helps homeless people and families "transition to wellbeing."

-Central City Hospitality House, an advocacy and social service agency working with homeless people in San Francisco's Tenderloin district.

-City of Oakland Hunger Program which distributes food to low-income Oakland residents.

So as you scurry about town trying to finish up your holiday shopping, don't forget to just acknowledge the homeless people you pass in the street, even if you can't give them any money. They are human beings just like the rest of us, and deserve our respect. That's the least we can do during this season of giving.

Blessings,
Rona

The Season of Lights (and Holiday Parties)

Or not. I love this time of year--holiday parties almost every night, which means free food and booze, sometimes music, and good schmoozing to be had by all. But a nasty cold early last week put me out of the running for many of the cool holiday parties that were buzzing around town. Sniff. But I'm still determined to have my fair share of holiday party fun, especially since December and January are officially the Months of the Year When Most of My Friends and Family Members Celebrate Their Birthdays (including me!). No less than a dozen (and I'm probably forgetting a few) folks in my world will be ringing in their next year on earth in the recent and upcoming weeks.

Last night, holiday celebration took the form of gastronomic nirvana as part of our joint birthday celebration(s). H. and I had the pleasure of being accompanied by N. and Vkdir to Paul K, a fantastic Hayes Valley restaurant on Gough that is now one of my new favorites. Fusion Mediterranean, I guess you could call it: subtle but memorable flavors of sumac (a Persian spice, I believe), pomegranate, chili harissa and medjool dates infused our dishes. They served thin circles of pita bread with baba ghannoush and hummus for the table. I was feeling like I needed some comfort food, so I got the grilled prime ribeye with chili harissa, which was scrumptious. We all sipped pinot noir, which was a little spicy and quite bright, a nice complement to each of our entrees. And to top it off, the prices aren't bad.

Then we went over to Sweet Inspiration in the Castro for dessert. I had my favorite, the coconut cake, which is super-decadent (especially since I'd already eaten a big slab of beef for dinner), but hey, you only celebrate birthdays once a year. (Well, for one month per year, at least--I figure having birthdays so close to Christmas and New Year's gives me and H. the right to party for as long as possible).

We had also gone to the McKay Foundation & FACT holiday party a couple weeks ago, which is always fun, partially because it's the only place I get to hear and dance to Surco Nuevo, one of my favorite salsa bands. They don't play much in the big salsa nightclubs in the Bay Area, because those gigs don't actually pay much, so once a year I get to groove to their music after sipping the best wine and food to be had at a holiday party. Not sure who caters that event, but they rock, lemme tell ya.

Tonite there's another little holiday party to attend, this time for the Agape Foundation, whose web site H. designed. They're a cool, progressive foundation, and Karen, their Executive Director, is a great person who I'm sure will throw a good shindig.

So even though I'm getting a little bit of a late start on the holiday-party circuit, I'm making up for lost time. I gots to--it's my obligation as a winter-baby Capricorn. I hope your winter's turning out as bright and full of festivity too.

Peace,
Rona

Rest in Peace and Power: Richard Pryor and Stanley 'Tookie' Williams

I know these are late but still wanted to post them. I've felt the aura of death around me often lately. And although their deaths make me sad, I'm not discouraged, and I know that these men's spirits will give us strength from the afterlife.

Richard's obituary.

About Tookie. His memorial service will be held in Los Angeles, Cali on Dec. 20th. Details are on the web site.

Peace,
Rona

The Final Hour

It's not too late to save a man's life--namely, Stanley 'Tookie' Williams, co-founder of the Crips, ex-gang-member turned children's book author and gang-truce advocate. I dread the dismay and disappointment and anger that folks in the 'hood who look up to Tookie as an inspiration to stay out tha game will feel if the State executes him tonite. You can go out to San Quentin and show your soildarity, but even better would be to fax, email or call the Governor's office to urge him to grant clemency to this reformed man, so that he can continue his work to bring peace to the war-torn streets right here in Ghettoland, U.S.A.

Rest in Peace: Licerio 'Jun' Sendaydiego, Jr.

Yesterday my family buried my Tito Jun, who passed away earlier this week after a long struggle against cancer. His humor, kindness, smooth singing voice and smile will be missed by me and many others.

I hadn't seen my Tito Jun healthy in a long time, but I'll always have memories of him as a happy-go-lucky, kindhearted gentleman, the kind of man I like to think of as quintessentially Filipino. He loved to sing love songs and be sweet to his wife, but he loved to smoke and drink whiskey, too. He was loved by his children and extended family; I can't ever remember not liking him or not being glad to see him and my Tita Glo, his wife.

I find real comfort in funerals, viewings, wakes, rosaries--all the components that make up the Filipino grieving process. The viewing was especially emotional for me, because I got to see Titos and Titas and cousins that I hadn't seen in years (or ever), some since I was a little girl. I was happily surprised that they all remembered me, although it took a couple of them a few minutes to place who I was. "Tita Puring's daughter," they would tell each other, and then their faces would light up with recognition. It makes so much sense that, after my anti-family Thanksgiving and my recent ill feelings towards my family, my Tito Jun's funeral was the place where I found some healing. He was the kind of man who could bring people together. Even my mom wasn't mad at me anymore, either for missing Thanksgiving--how can you be mad at people at the funeral of someone you both love?

As I sat in the church during the funeral mass, I noticed that the crucifix was not the standard cross shape that most Catholic crucifixes come in, but a figure of Christ hung from a single arc of branch, his wrists tied to it grotesquely. As I sat there listening to the priest and contemplating the figure, I thought about my recent studies of Buddhism and Buddhist meditation, how many (mis)interpret the Buddha's teaching about suffering to mean, "All life is suffering," when I and many others do not believe that was the intention behind his words. I think his meaning was that, "Suffering is unavoidable" but that we canliberate ourselves from it by following the Middle Way. I found it ironic and a little sad to remember how Christians (or at least Catholics in particular) focus so much on the crucifixion and suffering of Christ, instead of on his own 'enlightment' or awakening (Christians call it resurrection) on the third day after his death.

One of the most touching moments at the viewing for me was when a short, Chinese-looking man, after staring intently at me for several minutes as I hugged some of my cousins, came up to me in the pew as I sat with H. He approached me with a quizzical look on his face, as if he vaguely recognized me but couldn't remember my name. I rose and said who I was, and his face lit up as he opened his arms wide to embrace me.

"I'm Roy," he said; he was Tito Jun's eldest son, whom I'd heard about but never met before, since he had been in the Philippines when I was a child, when Tito Jun immigrated here with his four youngest children. I embraced him back, feeling the old warmth of family washing over me, the beautiful feeling of knowing that somewhere, by someone, I am recognized and loved.

My friend M. just returned from a month-long trip to the Philippines--her first--and told me of how family she'd never met before embraced her so warmly there. She's encouraging me to take my own first-ever trip; it's something I've always wanted to do but am only feeling more reassured about now, after yesterday's experience.

It's good to know that, on some level, there is family out there, in the world, waiting to embrace you.

Blessings,
Rona

Meditation Practice Pays Off: I Am Yoda

Just received the meditation cushions I bought as my birthday gift to myself yesterday, and had my first sit on them last night. I'll also be heading to the people of color sit at the San Francisco Buddhist Center tomorrow.

Yoda and Buddha have a lot in common I think, besides, their names rhyme. And further, I've always maintained that Yoda is Filipino..."Judge me by my size, do you?" So this is especially gratifying.

Thanks again to Gura, or should I say Galadriel the Queen, for the link.

Peace,
Rona