Sunday, June 25, 2006

Week From Hell

Okay, Efren, you asked for it. (He gave me the permission I needed to talk shit and not be so goodie-two-shoes on my blog.)

This week was a shit week. Don't get me wrong, it had it's bright spots: two friends loaned me money when I most needed it (and without me having to ask; I have serious issues about money, I've realized; ironic given that I'm a professional fundraiser); we got a few of the big grants we've been waiting on at work (woo-hoo!); my novel is coming along (I'm reading chapter seven right now); and H. and I are both healthy and happy, overall.

But the dark spots overshadowed the bright spots: work has felt like a goddamn smack-down, with four deadlines, one each week, for the past month (this Friday is my last one for a little while, thank Goddess). These deadlines (grant proposals and reports) take a lot out of me, I realize, because I must keep up with all the rest of my work while completing the various steps in the proposal/report process along the way. And there are lots of hoops foundations want us to jump through. Sheesh.

The sudden death of young Dru (see below), was the mid-week low. I'm still reeling, as are others who were even closer to Dru than I was. We had brunch today with two of the amazing people who've been helping his family through this crisis; tried to give them support too. The caretakers need caretakers, y'know?

And then a close friend of mine calls to tell me that he's been laid off, and for some shitty-ass reasons that I can't get into in a public space for fear of reprisals from some powerful people in government. No fucking kidding.

And to top it all off, I was premenstrual, and cranky, and dealing with the fact that my Palm Zire decided to freak out on me and stop working. I realized how dependent I am on that thing; I can barely function without it. It's a psychological and logistical security blanket; unfortunately, there's no way to deal with the situation but get a new PDA, which I really can't afford right now. Timing this week is just frickin' great.

So that was my week. I need to take up meditation again, for real. Ten minutes a day, ten minutes a day. That's my mantra.


Efren said...

LOL, girl, you don't need MY permission to post whatever's on your mind. It's your blog.

I'm sending positive energy and love to you and H. Hope things are looking better this week. :)

Rona Fernandez said...

Actually, i really did need your 'permission'--even though i know that's not what you were intending. I basically needed someone to tell me I was being too serious and goody-goody about this whole blogging thing. So thanks! It's actually quite liberating. And thanks for the positive energy. ;-) --RF