Totally Cool Coincidences

Coincidence Factor (CF for short) #1: Watching the biopic/religious/historical epic film "Luther", about Martin Luther, the spiritual firebrand theologian who threatened the regal power of the Papacy in 15th century Europe.

CF #2: The week following my viewing of 'Luther', Pope Benedict XVI (formerly Cardinal Josef Ratzinger) was chosen as the successor to St. Peter and the more than two hundred fifty popes who have led the Roman Catholic Church.

CF #3: Staying up late the other night on a whim, I am flipping channels and get the beginning of Pope Benedict's first mass as Pope in St. Peter's Square. I can't really stand looking at his creepy Bela Lugosi eyes and turn it off once they start panning to him every two seconds.

CF #4: Watched 'I Heart Huckabees' last night for the first time. Trippy movie. Made me think a lot about...coincidences.

CF #5: New visitor Ben uses the phrase 'coincidences of ours' in his comment to my last post. Not sure if it's a "Huckabees" reference but close enough. Coincidence!

CF #6: Got this email today from the University of Creation Spirituality/Wisdom University, a New Age-y, eclectic spiritual institute that I'm not big into but that I still respect, mostly because excommunicated former priest (and Bay Area resident) Matthew Fox is their head honcho of sorts. I've met him a couple of times; he's a cool guy, if not a little egotistical, but hey, when someone's the spiritual equivalent of an international rock star, what can one expect?

Here's an excerpt from the email:

"There are many exciting things happening to which I would like to draw to your attention. 

We are developing an extraordinary and provocative strategy for Matt, given the fact that his nemesis Josef Ratzinger is now Pope.  Matt is writing a letter to Ratzinger challenging him to make good on his assertion in his first mass after his installation on April 24th  to "listen to the whole church" by meeting first with all those he expelled or silenced while he was Head of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith. As you know, scores of other leading theologians and priests besides Matt were silenced or expelled by Ratzinger in the squelching of dissent while he was Head of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, including Hans Kung, a German theologian, and Leonardo Boeff, a Brazilian Jesuit.   All of them are being invited to co-sign Fox's letter.

Additionally, Matt is preparing a manifesto called "The New Reformation: Toward a Mature Christianity", in which he proclaims that we are in fact confronted with two churches: one dominated by the image of the punitive father, personified by the long and harsh career of Ratzinger himself and his long suppression of internal dissent, rejection of other religions,
and protection of pedophile priests; and the other expressed by the feminine spirit of Wisdom and personified by a compassionate mother/father god of justice and compassion.  It is time for the church to choose whom it will follow:  an angry exclusionary god or the loving open path of wisdom.

To dramatize his letter and his Proclamation, Matthew will be preaching a sermon on Pentacost Sunday May 15 in Germany near Frankfurt. He will proclaim the need for a new reformation and expound the choices before the church, while inviting the Pope to meet with him and others who like him were silenced or expelled.  If all goes according to plan, he will then travel to Wittenberg, where Martin Luther nailed his ninety-five theses at the Cathedral in 1517, and nail his Proclamation on the same church doors.

From Wittenberg, he will travel to Rome where at the gates of St. Peter's Cathedral he will challenge Ratzinger to a debate about the future of Christianity at this moment of historical crisis and opportunity.

Isn't this totally cool?"

Yes, it is. Totally f**ckin' cool. My meditation-induced hopefulness is gettin' a turbo charge outta this sh*t.

In Peace,
Rona

Slowing Down, Waking Up

It's been an interesting couple of months since I've been relatively blogpost-less...I cut down on reading blogs as well as writing on my own, and it was a good thing. It is always important to take a break from things, even if you love them--and especially if you dislike or get stressed out by them. I've learned the hard way that if things are too difficult for too long, I am doing something wrong, repeating an unhealthy pattern over and over, not learning from my mistakes.

There are so many huge events that have recently transpired in the world, in this particular moment in time in which we are living; things that have inspired passionate arguments between me and my partner, my co-workers, my friends. The Terri Schiavo tragedy (aka the media circus that was created around her and her family's suffering), Pope John Paul II dying, the Papal Conclave taking only a day-and-a-half to choose the new Pope, an arch-conservative who wants to make the Church 'smaller but purer.' So many frightening things, yet I--and we--must figure out where the bright spots are, the rays of hope in the ominous shadows.

Interestingly, H. and I happened to watch the film 'Luther' the weekend before Pope Benedict XVI was chosen. The film is about Martin Luther, founder of the 'Great Reformation' which shook the Roman Catholic Church and spread throughout Europe like wildfire in the 15th (?) century. I spent a good part of the film explaining some of the historical background of Roman Catholic 'indulgences' and other corrupt practices to H., who grew up fairly non-religious and often recoils in shock at the strange Church customs that I grew up with as normal everyday occurrences. It's good to have to explain the culture and customs of the Church to an outsider, because it sheds light on how absurd, illogical and sometimes downright disgusting some of these customs are--and how, in many ways, they are counter to the development of a truly authentic spirituality based on compassion, tolerance, faith and love.

I don't really know what to say about the new Pope, or about the state of the Catholic Church today. Others have quite articulately stated opinions that I wholeheartedly agree with: John Nichols, Leny (thanks for the welcome back and congrats on your new book!) and Rhett (see March 31 and April 6 posts, specifically), for starters. It's healing to hear and read the voices of other progressive Christians / Catholics (recovering or currently active) expressing skepticism, fear or even optimism about the Church's direction. And even though I haven't gone to Mass in months, I still know that the Church is a hugely influential institution in the world, on the one hand, and I still have a deep love for many of the teachings and the lessons I learned growing up in the Church the first eighteen years of my life.

In contrast to my recent thoughts and mixed feelings regarding the future of the Catholic Church, I have been meditating a lot more lately, and recently attended a day-long meditation retreat for people of color activists at Spirit Rock. The retreat inspired and energized me, and strengthened both my interest and faith in Buddhist meditation and the Dharma (the teachings of the Buddha as handed down for the past two-thousand-five-hundred years or so). I felt such peace in sitting, walking and eating meditation (yes, eating--have you ever slowed down and just paid attention to what you were eating instead of reading the paper, talking to your partner or scarfing down your food in five seconds flat? Notice how flavors become more intense?) with my comrades and colleagues, and realized how simple yet profound Buddhist practice is. Breathe, slow down, notice, be present. I just paid attention to what I was doing for the first time in weeks.

I've carried this mindful approach into the rest of my daily life, and I think it's really helping. I feel less judgmental, more compassionate of others, less prone to cling to my angry, unhelpful attitudes and thoughts. I even feel compassion and near-forgiveness for some of the people that I have hated in the past--which doesn't mean I'm rushing out to embrace them and welcome them back into my life, but it feels much better to be more at peace with them in my own mind than to allow myself to be constantly bitter and triggered, and to waste precious energy on spitefulness and negativity that I could put to more positive uses in the worl.

I feel I am awakening to a whole new reality. Sometimes it's a little frightening, but more and more it just makes me feel happy and hopeful that a new, better world is unfolding around me.

In Peace,
Rona

Deadline-free (for now)

Hello there, dear readers. I'm back for a bit from my month of deadline after deadline. Since we last chatted, I won a lil' essay contest (along with some money--woo-hoo!), got myself into an online writers' group for fiction/speculative fiction (or SF for short) writers, and applied for a summer writing workshop that I've been wanting to get into for a few years but never made the time for.

It's been a productive past few weeks, to say the least, and I'm feeling great about my writing. The novel is coming along well, and I finally finished a short story that I started--no kidding--FIVE years ago. Whoa. It felt great to finally put it to bed (for now, at least, until I get it into a workshop so it can get critiqued!).

I've also started going to Kali class again, hoping to make it out there at least once a week. It feels good to spar, to wield my stick and empty hands, to be in community with other martial artists again. I've missed Kali practice, although I think the break from class was necessary too. Sometimes you notice things about your practice that are crucial only when you leave it for awhile. I think this is true for writing, for Kali, for anything.

I am also meditating more lately, partially because it's something I've been telling myself I need to do for my own spiritual well-being, but also partially because of some minor health problems I'm having that the doctors say is caused by anxiety/stress. I've known for a long time that I am a type-A, slightly paranoid stress-case, but I thought I had it all under control (don't we all?)! But seems like my body and mind could use more stillness, so I'll be loggin' more minutes on the ol' meditation cushion.

I hope all is well in your world. Don't forget to stop and breathe once and awhile.

Blessings,
Rona

"Oh, yes, I have a blog....I forgot."

Haven't been blogging much lately. Haven't been much inspired to. I mean, really, life is much more than who won an Oscar for Best Actor, isn't it? That goes to show you that either: 1) My life is supremely boring, or 2) I have better things to do with my life than blog.

I have to admit, dear reader, that the answer is #2. Not to say that I don't value your visits to my humble little blog, or that I don't want to write things that you'll find so terribly interesting that you might leave a comment or have a cafe conversation with a friend about some thought I provoked in your mind. It is, quite simply, just that I have lots of other things on my plate: my novel, for one, which has been occupying a greater space in my mind and my overall consciousness the past few weeks. And that's a good thing. I'm ready to be obsessed with it. I'm ready to dive into researching languages that I can incorporate into my dialogue and my characters' names; I'm down to spend hours lost in the writing of what promises to be a tome of sorts. I'm ready, God/dess. Bring it on.

In addition, I have a couple of other writing projects I need to focus on right now. Deadlines, deadlines, they are a'callin'. I'm trying to pull together an essay for a contest that I desperately want (and need) to win in order to purchase my very own laptop (ah, the very thought of having my own computer--I use H.'s right now--makes me sigh dreamily). And I need to pull together an application and writing sample for a much-longed-for workshop that is coming up this summer. Wish me good luck!

So, gentle reader, I doubt that I'll be blogging much anytime soon. But I'm sure that the blog and web site links I've provided to the left of this text will give you much brain-fodder and textual entertainment to distract you while I'm otherwise occupied. And who knows, maybe you'll go out and start your own blog instead of just reading mine. ;-)

Blessings,
Rona

Now, That's a Winner

Okay, who saw Jamie Foxx accept his much-deserved Oscar award last night? Was it the best award-acceptance speech ever or what? And what about the fact that Jamie--an avowed party animal who no doubt could have brought any stunning model or starlet or groupie with him to the Oscars--brought his daughter with him as his date? Now that's class, that's a suave m**thafu**er if there ever was one. He even almost broke down crying when he talked about his late grandmother, who helped raise him. Definitely raised his star status in my mind.

I was overjoyed that Foxx took home the 'Best Actor' award--almost as overjoyed as when Miss Eva the Diva won the top nod on America's Next Top Model. I do wish Don Cheadle could have also received a best actor award for 'Hotel Rwanda'--even though I don't think his performance was a virtuoso as Foxx's (I mean, Jamie Foxx did have to do an intense piano audition in front of Ray Charles himself to even be considered for the role). But I knew that 'Hotel Rwanda' wouldn't win any Oscars because, let's face it, Hollywood is all about illusions and that movie was just too much reality for most Americans.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't spend every waking hour glued to the boob-tube, but I do watch a fair share of good TV programs (there are a few out there, and I do mean a few, especially since I don't have cable) and good movies. And Jamie Foxx in 'Ray' (as well as 'Collateral', for which Foxx lost to equally deserving Morgan Freeman for best supporting actor) was the SH*T. (FYI, I only caught the last hour of the Oscars--just in time to see Jamie win, along with 'Million Dollar Baby', et al).

More interesting Oscar tidbits here and here, and these aren't fashion reports, folks. I do wish, though, that one of these high-octane Black actors (okay, someone besides Danny Glover) would make it a point to highlight that, despite these gains in the entertainment industry by Black artists, Black people in this country in general are not doing well economically. And not to tarnish the shine on Morgan's or Jamie's golden statuettes, but 'uplifting the race' doesn't mean shit if you don't pull some people up with you.

Surprised, but Not Disappointed

A refreshingly intelligent and thoughtful piece about the real consequences of our increasingly 'luxurious' lifestyle (think: retail therapy at Diesel or Williams-Sonoma). Goes to show that you don't always find what you're looking for in the usual places.

R.

Disappointed, but not Surprised

I rarely hero-ize people these days, unless they're dead. Otherwise, they just disappoint you by doing and saying stupid things that make you cringe and say 'D'OH!'. Here's an example, from still-funny-as-fuck Margaret Cho. Margaret, I love your honesty, but I sure don't admire the fact that you want to be white.

I think I wanted to be white for the majority of my high school career, not because I necessarily thought things would be easier or because I thought I'd 'just be able to show my mad skills', as Miz Cho says, but mostly because I really thought being brown meant being ugly, poor, dirty, etc. Now that's honesty.

Nowadays, I would never want to be white. I mean, who could be white after knowing how much behind-their-backs shit-talking people of color still do about white folks? And I'm even (I'm especially talking about) the people of color that seem to kiss white people's asses, the ones that seem like the classic 'Uncle Tom' types. They talk hella shit, and always behind white folks' backs, then turn around and smile to their faces so they can keep their jobs, privileges, relationships and twisted power intact.

I, for one, have generally favored the shit-talking-to-your-face approach with white folks. Much more honest and productive, doncha think?

Some thoughts for the day,
Rona

A Wine By Any Other Name...

...is still a wine, no? Sorry, sometimes I can't come up with interesting or catchy titles ("Does she ever?" you ask with raised eyebrow). But today did turn out to be a 'wine day' of sorts.

At lunchtime at work today--my co-workers and I all eat together and generally have a grand time conversating and chowing down--we somehow ended up on the topic of good cheese, and then, inevitably, good wine. D. asked what our favorite cheeses of the moment are. "Ah," I thought, "a question made for me!" I replied that lately I prefer sheep's milk cheeses, like pecorino toscano or romano, which have distinctly different flavors but are both made of sheep's milk (I believe that's what 'pecorino' denotes in Italian). C. said she loves gouda, while D. professed a fancy for gruyere.

And then the conversation turned to wine, and E. talked about V. Sattui Winery in St. Helena, which always seems to host a disproportionate number of people of color, making it one of my favorite spots in the Napa Valley. And despite the fact that E. says that more snobbish wine-lovers think of V. Sattui as uncouth and low-class, I've had some great wine-tasting experiences there. Like the time an older man behind the tasting counter said that he liked the winery's Sauvignon Blanc to two young women, who asked him why he liked it. I guess they thought he'd wax philosophical about hints of kiwi and notes of grassy lime in the wine, but he simply shrugged in response and said, 'I just like it!"

As part of our wine conversation at lunch today, I also talked about my birthday dinner at Absinthe Brasserie in Hayes Valley, where H. treated me to the best dinner out that I've ever had (really, I'm not exaggerating). We asked the sommelier to recommend something from Absinthe's extensive wine list (it was something like 8 pages long and divided by region, I think). H. had ordered the coq au vin (super-delicious) and I had ordered the special dungeness crab (equally super-delicious) so the sommelier recommended a Pinot Gris (sorry wine-snobs, I don't remember the name of the winemaker or the year--my bad!) from Alsace, France, which is renowned for this varietal. Well, the bottle was forty bucks, more than I've ever spent on a bottle of wine, but I said, 'What the hell, I'm never gonna turn 33 again!" and we ordered it.

Oh, God. I don't think I'd ever really known what it tasted like to have such a well-matched wine and food combination. It was fuckin' delicious. I'm not very good about saying what flavor-notes a wine brings forth (pear? melon? lemongrass? Isn't wine made out of grapes?), but I can say that every dollar that we spent that night was well worth it. And although I can't afford to buy any wine that costs more than $15 a bottle max on a regular basis, it's good to know that I can experience gastronomic nirvana again sometime in the near future. I do live in San Francisco, after all, which I've read has more restaurants per capita than any city in the world except Paris.

Now, if you want to be a real wine connoisseur you should woo your way into a viticultural (or is it oenophilic?) apprenticeship with Miz Chatty, but if you're just a lay person like me you might learn something from Tatang as well. His SO, Gura, accompanied him on a wine tasting trek in the Amador Valley, and T. had some things to say, let me tell you! Gura seemed to have a more mellow approach to wine tasting. I'd have to say my own wine-tasting attitudes fall somewhere in between.

And tonite, I treated myself to a couple glasses of a decent pinot noir that H. bought a couple weeks ago. We sipped it during a dinner of homemade pasta with tomato and onion sauce and some roasted asparagus (unfortunately, I don't think the wine went well with the asparagus; I noticed an icky alcoholic scent in my glass after I'd just eaten the asparagus, and the wine tasted bitter and .

I spent a few minutes after dinner perusing a handy little web site, EatDrinkDine.com, which seems somewhat simplistic but is still helpful for wine novices like myself. I don't think I'll become a real connoisseur anytime soon, but I stlll enjoy a good quaff of liquid gold now and then. A small, simple, but blessed pleasure in this big, crazy world.

Drink well and be happy,
Rona

Love

Dear Gentle Reader,

Silly me. I sent silly Valentine's day e-cards to a bunch of friends, to my co-workers, to acquaintances, yet I neglected my blog audience, who certainly deserves my love and affection since you continue to return day by day to read my words, put up with my meandering thoughts and hopelessly idealistic moralizing. I thank you and wish you love and affection (a day late, as it were), dear reader, for including me in your blog wanderings and for considering me in your thoughts.

And, of course, I wish you love simply because you are, and I am. Because we exist on this mortal plane and it is a good--and necessary, in these dark days--thing to love one another.

Blessings,
Rona

Thank God It's Friday

I'm sitting home alone at 11:16pm on a Friday night, full from another scrumptious dinner at J.'s restaurant, Pagolac, on Larkin near Ellis in SF (yes, I like to plug my friends' businesses!). I was caffeinated from a small coffee I got at La Boheme on 24th where I waited for H. to pick me up, and where a pretty girl with tan jeans and long black hair told me my earrings were beautiful. Always nice to get compliments from strangers, especially when they seem sincere.

It's been a long week, full of the large and small events of life. Late last week, Ossie Davis passed away (see my earlier post), leaving an incredible legacy of activist-artistry in his wake. And then early Tuesday morning, activist and artist BJ Alisago also left behind this mortal coil and joined the ancestors on the other side of the veil.

Some more trivial events: I finally finished reading Garcia Marquez' Love in the Time of Cholera, and started really digging into Nalo Hopkinson's Skin Folk, a collection of speculative fiction stories that are pretty amazing. I got to page 88 in my novel draft, still making green-ink notes in the margins and in between the lines. On Tuesday, we had an action at work to demand more resources for poor schools in communities of color. I finally made it back to Kali class last night, and remembered how good it feels to move my body in these ancient ways, to flow through the patterns of thought and energy that are part of my cultural legacy.

I'm tired, physically, but I'm also looking forward to a happy, light-filled weekend (let's hope Mother Nature grants my wish for sunshine). Tomorrow I'll be attending my comadre's son's school expo (he's 6 years old and oh-so-cute) and of course will get to see his brother, my inaanak, too. And then it's off to Gura's Lunar New Year shindig, where I hope to eat lots of good food (is Tatang going to grace us with his excellent marinated and grilled beef specialties? I hope so.

Rest easy, folks, it's the weekend,
Rona

Rest in Peace, Kasama

I didn't know BJ Alisago very well--met him a few times, I think he practiced Eskrima, I watched him perform Kulintang once, and I interviewed him for a job at my old organization--but it's still very sad to hear of his too-soon, sudden and tragic passing. I believe he was only 27 years old. I wish his spirit light and love on its journey to the afterlife, and I know that he is now with our many ancestor-comrades, those who have passed on before us.

BJ's passing also teaches me that life is short and unpredictable, and that we must value our friends, comrades, family and loved ones every moment of every day.

Be well,
Rona

Holidays Galore

It seems as if this year's late winter holidays came all at once, in one great big holiday package, wrapped in bright red and pink paper and gold ribbons. Does this happen every year or is it just this one? Not only is today the beginning of Lunar (or 'Chinese') New Year (Happy Year of the Rooster!), but it's also Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Lenten season for Catholics. Which of course means that yesterday was Mardi Gras ("Fat Tuesday", when everyone's supposed to party hardy before abstaining for Lent). And, of course, Monday is Valentine's Day, meant to celebrate love in all its manifestations.

Happy Holy-Days, y'all-
Rona

Rememering and Honoring Ossie Davis

Democracy Now! has some great pieces on the late Ossie Davis, including a moving interview with actor Danny Glover.

Ossie Davis: Rest in Power

I was very saddened to read in the paper yesterday of the death of Ossie Davis, actor, director, activist and husband to actor Ruby Dee. Mr. Davis was one of those celebrity father-figure types, the kind of man that seemed to walk and act with integrity.

Seemingly tireless 'til the end, Mr. Davis passed away this past Friday, just days after the start of shooting for a new film in Miami. I know that many people in this country and all over the world will mourn the loss of this great artist and activist.

One thing I always remembered him for was that, in his eulogy for Malcolm X, he spoke emotionally about how Malcolm was, no matter whether you agreed with him or not, a real 'Man', and that Ossie had known that there were times when he himself did not act quite like a 'man' because of what this racist system of oppression had forced him to do. And then of course we cannot forget that he called Malcolm "our shining Black prince."

To me, and I'm sure to many others, Ossie Davis was a Man, a man of dignity and elegance, talent and intelligence. May he rest in peace and power, and may the civil and human rights he fought to secure for all people be realized one day.

Blessings,
Rona

A-Bloggin' We Will Go...

I love finding blogs that make me want to hang out with their bloggers. So I'm adding Utopia is a Practice to my blogroll. I found this guy (embarassed to say I don't even know his name) because he left a comment in response to one of my blogposts. Seems like he's a musician, a Latino brotha, does sustainable living stuff and has good politics--check out his recent posts on learning earth plastering techniques to build houses and the 'insider scoop' on my favorite Bush-wonks, Condi Rice and Alberto Gonzales. Fresh!

I also love finding out that my friends have started their own blogs, often at least partially inspired by my own venturing into the blogosphere. Recently added Daniel's A-One Chronicle (but still haven't figured out why it's called 'A-One'--like the steak sauce, Daniel?), which has of late been the chronicle of Daniel's foodie adventures in Oakland and Frisco. Always fun to find out where good food is being dished up.

I also love the sexy-boy pics that El Serenito has been posting during his self-proclaimed 'myheowbernation'. Yes, you'll have to read his blog to find out what that word means.

And early congrats to Chavajero, who is getting married 'for real' in the Church next week (which is why you won't find any recent posts on his blog--ahem). Can't wait to see the pics, C.

See you in blogland or elsewhere-
Rona

Random / Shuffle

Ever feel like your brain is a CD or MP3 player set on 'random' or 'shuffle'? I think that's my primary mental state most days. Perpetual multi-tasker. Gets distracting at times. But it can make for some interesting writing.

More tangibly, Apple has launched their teeny tiny iPod Shuffle. Interesting concept, although I wouldn't buy one. My mental random/shuffle mode gives me quite enough (pleasant and not-so-pleasant) surprises, thank you very much. And I'm much too much of a control freak to like not knowing what song's gonna play next.

Started reading through my first draft of the novel. Not as bad as I thought, thusfar. Lots of green ink (I refuse to use red ink to revise my stuff, too school-like) in the margins, mostly notes to elaborate on sections that I skimmed over in the initial writing. Good nuggets of language and plot development in there, just need to mine them out and spit-shine them a bit.

I'm super-excited about my job lately, especially the grassroots fundraising aspects of it. The idea of ordinary, everyday, just-like-you-and-me folks supporting our own organizations to create real change...yes, I have to say it turns me on. Thanks to the Journal and GIFT and CFJ for inspiration.

Finally allowed myself to buy a copy of O Magazine, Oprah Winfrey's suprisingly smart and intriguing rag. Excellent writing--Elle magazine is also very well-written--which is always nice to find in the world of women's magazines, where the majority of the writing is sappy at best and just plain dumb at worst. Come on, folks, we DO have brains and care about more than how to score our next boyfriend or how to apply three layers of mascara properly!

Had a fabulous Vietnamese dinner with H. at our friend J.'s newly remodeled restaurant , Pagolac. (actually, it's J.'s mom that owns the place--she's also the cook and is a damned great one) We devoured a lotus salad, hot-and-sour soup with prawns, five spice BBQ chicken and a catfish claypot concoction with broken rice. Yum. The place is on Larkin near Ellis in the ever-intriguing Tenderloin in Frisco. Check it out if you're in the 'hood.

And I'll defer from commenting on our "President's" State of the Union address. Suffice it to say that, thankfully, I got to listen to it on KPFA which meant that the commentators had halfway intelligent and progressive things to say about it afterwards.

Hope you enjoy your own random/shuffles,
Rona

Pre-Valentine's Day Musings

I've been thinking a lot about loneliness lately. Partially because I feel kinda lonely living in Frisco, away from most of my friends and family in the East Bay, partially because St. Valentine's Day is coming up, that annual commercialized love-fest where people who are not happily (or unhappily) coupled are often made to feel as if they have some horrid congenital defect.

I've been noticing and thinking a lot lately that many people in this world (coupled or not) are lonely. You can see it on their faces on BART or the bus, you can read it in their blogs, you can sense how people hide their loneliness behind the thin veneer of their fascination with pop culture entertainment or fashion or any other potentially distracting habit. It saddens me that so many people are lonely--especially in a city like San Francisco, which is so densely packed that often I feel like a tiny ant crammed into the claustrophia-inducing spaces of the city's elevators or public transit systems--at the same time that I know that loneliness is just one condition of human existence. And that loneliness, too, will pass. At least for most people.

This year, I've decided to send love-notes out to my friends (coupled or not), in addition to celebrating V-day with my sweetie. If Valentine's Day is supposed to be about love, then why don't we also acknowledge, honor and celebrate the people we love non-romantically? What happened to the cute little ritual that we carried out in grammar school, where we gave cheesy, store-bought Valentines cards to all of our classmates? I think that should continue way past the 5th grade. Love for your fellow human beings doesn't end when you hit puberty--or does it?

Something to think about,
Rona

Not Much Ado About Not Quite Nothing

Not thinking very many deep thoughts these days. Well, nothing suitable for the blog, anyhow.

Watched 'Ladykillers' on DVD the other night, even after D. told us that it was 'terrible.' I didn't find it so terrible after all, although I have to say it was the first film I'd seen in a while in which the proverbial 'black guy' dies first. Surprise, surprise, eh? The surprise really was that I hadn't seen that in a flim for at least six months.

Took my mom out for dinner on Friday night for her 60th birthday, to Roy's in downtown San Francisco--'Hawaiian fusion cuisine', which means a lot of fresh seafood, some Hawaiian and Asian ingredients and dishes like macadamia nuts, kim chee and gyoza. Moms actually enjoyed it a lot, which I was surprised about. I thought she would think the $25 and up entrees too extravagant for my budget (which they were, but good food is my big weakness). But now I know where I get my somewhat expensive tastes from, because she loved it, and offered to bring us back there in a couple months, her treat. God, if only I could eat at nice restaurants like that at least once every couple weeks, I think I would be so overjoyed by both the anticipation leading up to and the happy memories after the meal that the rest of my life could strike that precious balance between bliss and burden that can be so elusive at times.

Spent part of my Saturday filing papers away at work, which felt good because we purged so many old and outdated foundation publications and guidelines that were taking up so much space. Now that we've cleared out the old, we can make way for the new: prospecting for new funders is up next.

Went shopping yesterday at Nordstrom Rack and bought some nice new pieces from good designers at cheap cheap prices. That's what I'm talking about. I balk at spending more than $50 on any one piece of clothing--with the exception of coats and maybe really nice sweaters, so my finds pleased me: a pair of Eileen Fisher cargo jeans that look way more hip-hop than anything I thought she would design, a bright red t-shirt with a pink 'R' emblazoned on its front, and a pale pink camp shirt--I don't know why I'm into pink and red lately, I think it's the insidious influence of all the Valentine's Day stuff all around the stores.

H. and I took a leisurely walk around the scenic Crystal Springs Reservoir. The trail is right next to the 280 freeway for a good stretch, but once we got down the hill and away from it, it felt like we were far away in the country. We even saw a group of about eight deer feeding on the grassy slopes beside the trail.

Yup, that was my weekend, in a nutshell. Not much to hoot and holler about, but that's really all right by me. It pleased me. And that is precious.

Hope your weekend was just as pleasing,
Rona

And You Think the Hip Hop Generation Doesn't Care?

Well, check out Pinay DJ Kuttin Kandi's response to Hot 97's airing of their pathetically racist and awful 'Tsunami Song'.

There's No Place Like Home

And there's nothing like traveling to give you some perspective on life, on your hometown, and on the good things you've got that you take for granted everyday. After my less-than-cheerful previous post, I've gotten some light and fresh clean air and have once again remembered that life is pretty fuckin' good.

I just got back last night from Denver, where I attended a 3-day training for trainers offered by GIFT, an amazing organization that has dedicated itself to training the next generation of fundraisers of color who want to build social justice community groups by raising money from everyday folks--poor people, people of color, immigrants, youth, etc. These folks actually give most of the money that's given to non-profits in this country (upwards of 75%), but for various classist and racist reasons are not prioritized as donors or fundraisers by many progressive groups.

The training was fantastic, definitely the best training I've been to in many years (and I've been to lots of workshops and seminars on various fundraising and non-profit management topics in recent history), and I met some cool people who are doing extraordinary work in their communities. From organizing young women of color in Albuquerque (Young Women United) to building a coalition of Latino organizations in North Carolina, from running environmental justice campaigns in API communities to providing crucial support to grassroots groups in New York City, the groups represented by the participants at the GIFT training are engaged in meaningful and necessary work to make this country a real democracy that includes everyone that lives and works here, not just the folks who are 'citizens' and 'voters'. And my comrades from these groups reminded me once again how much great organizing work and movement-building is going on, slowly but surely, day by day, even in the US, the belly of the imperialist beast.

Denver was interesting. It's in a spectacular natural environment, with th snow-capped Rocky Mountains on the horizon, stretching as far as the eye can see, almost seeming to surround you. But Denver's not a very integrated city, you could say. Definitely saw Black folks and Latinos, but the downtown scene in the bars and restaurants was pretty white. I didn't observe any overtly racist discrimination; people were pretty friendly if not overly-curious about our group--a multi-racial people of color crew that roamed the somewhat desolate streets of downtown Denver every night. The last night I was there I realized with a shudder that Littleton, Colorado--where Columbine High School is located--is only 20 minutes away.

Although I had a great time at the training and in Denver, I do get homesick quite easily when I travel, and I was so happy to come home last night, especially after a long day of airport waiting and delays. Seeing H. was, of course, sweet and nourishing to my soul. As M., my hotel roomie in Denver, said after overhearing some of our phone conversations, H. softens me and 'makes me all melty'. He is the true blessing of my life.

Today, I welcome myself home with a nice Frisco-style brunch, with good coffee and grub, the Bay Guardian on my lap, and some phat beats playing in the background. There really is no place like home.