I officially have vertigo, which I didn't know until yesterday just means 'dizziness'. I always liked the sound of the word, and thought it had something to do with fear of heights. But it's just plain dizziness, having your equilibrium off, etc. And I've got it. YAAAAYY.
Some of you in blogland know that I've been having ear problems for about a year now, and this is just the latest in a series of symptoms that have been, at turns, irritating, barely noticeable, non-existent, or downright painful. Well, now I'm at a new level of this ear-problem-business: this vertigo thing--oh yes, and the ringing in my ears (known in medical parlance as Tinnitus that feels as if one side of me attended a four-hour Def Leppard concert while the other side stayed home--is irritating, painful, frightening and just plain weird.
It's weird to get up from putting a houseplant on the floor and feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me. It's weird to have to sit down and then lie down, and then doze in and out of sleep for the next four hours because every time I just move my head the room starts to spin around me and then I get nauseated. It's weird to feel seasick when all I'm doing is laying in my own bed. Yes, the vertigo thing fuckin' SUCKS.
And the tinnitus is just as bad. There's this constant ringing in my left ear, louder than the ringing I hear when I've just left the club, and it just doesn't stop. Sometimes it gets a little quieter, sometimes louder. Certain external sounds help drown it out a little. But get something with a bass tone to it around me--from hip hop music booming in a car driving by or the sound of my upstairs neighbor's heavy footsteps pounding the floor/ceiling above me--and the ringing reverberates in my brain like a big brass gong. Yes, this tinnitus thing sucks too.
Okay, enough complaining. I should be doing some positive affirmations and healing visualizations and blah blah blah. And I will, of course, 'cuz that's the kind of boho-alternative-healing-therapies kind of girl I am. And on Wednesday I'm going to my acupunturist whose treatment and herbs will probably make me feel much better than the doctor's prescription medication will. But I had to get this off my chest. So thanks for listening, and I hope to God/dess that you never have to deal with this shit. As I said before, it SUCKS.
Wish me speedy healing and good vibes-
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